When Pushing Through Makes Chronic Pain Worse: Nancy Deyo's Story
The same determination that helps someone build a career, climb a mountain, or survive a crisis can become harmful when the body is asking for a different response.
Former Silicon Valley CEO Nancy Deyo learned that lesson after a serious spinal injury on Mount Kilimanjaro began a 15-year struggle involving chronic pain, opioid dependence, anxiety, depression, and repeated experiences of not being believed. Her recovery did not mean returning to the old version of her life. It meant building a new one around acceptance, adaptation, self-trust, and support.
What this conversation explores
- How a Kilimanjaro injury changed Nancy's life
- Why chronic pain and mental health cannot be separated
- How opioid dependence can develop during legitimate treatment
- What medical dismissal does to self-trust
- Why pushing harder can delay healing
- How Nancy rebuilt education, work, identity, and relationships
- A definition of resilience based on listening and adapting
When determination stops being protective
Nancy had learned to solve problems by working harder. That approach had supported success, so it made sense that she would bring it into recovery. But chronic pain does not always respond to more effort. Sometimes pushing past every limit increases symptoms and reduces the body's opportunity to recover.
Recognizing that is not laziness or defeat. It is a shift from battling the body to gathering information from it.
Chronic pain affects mental health
Persistent pain can change sleep, concentration, mood, relationships, work, and a person's sense of safety. Anxiety and depression can grow around the unpredictability of symptoms and the repeated losses that pain creates.
That does not mean the pain is imaginary, and it does not mean mental-health support can replace medical evaluation. It means the person deserves care that takes both physical and emotional reality seriously.
Opioid dependence can begin inside legitimate care
Nancy's story includes opioid dependence that developed during treatment for real pain. That distinction matters because shame can prevent people from speaking honestly about medication, tolerance, dependence, or fear.
Medication decisions should be made with qualified clinicians. People should not abruptly stop prescribed opioids without medical guidance. Compassionate care can acknowledge the original pain, the complexity of dependence, and the need for a safe plan.
The harm of not being believed
Medical dismissal can damage more than trust in one appointment. When a person repeatedly hears that symptoms are exaggerated or unexplained, they may begin doubting their own experience.
Advocacy can mean documenting symptoms, bringing a trusted person, asking questions, seeking another qualified opinion, or finding a clinician who listens. It should not require becoming an expert simply to be treated with dignity, but those tools can help someone stay connected to their own reality.
Resilience can mean adaptation
Nancy rebuilt parts of her identity, education, career, and relationships without pretending she had returned to the life she had before the injury. Her resilience became less about endless endurance and more about listening, adapting, and choosing what supported a sustainable life.
That is a hopeful definition because it does not require a perfect recovery. It allows purpose to change shape. It allows rest to be intelligent. It allows a different life to remain a meaningful one.
This story is educational and is not medical advice. If you are considering changes to medication or treatment, talk with a qualified clinician. If you may be in immediate danger or are thinking about suicide in the United States, call or text 988; elsewhere, contact local emergency or crisis services.
What to carry forward
There is no single correct way to heal, rebuild, or grow. The value of this conversation is not a universal prescription. It is the reminder that honesty creates choices, support can change what is possible, and progress is allowed to look smaller and less linear than people expect.
Read Nancy’s writing at Life Inside Pain.
Listen to the full episode
Hear the complete conversation on When Pushing Through Makes You Sicker: Chronic Pain, Opioids, and Redefining Resilience | Nancy Deyo. You can also explore more stories in the podcast archive and the Overcome blog.