Resilience Is Built, Not Born | Travis White

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What if breaking down is not proof that

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you lack resilience?

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What if the moment you fall apart is also

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the moment you discover which skills,

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people, and choices can help you rebuild?

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Those are two questions I want you to

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think really hard about as we

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go through this episode tonight.

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Welcome to Overcome with Travis White.

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Tonight I'm doing another solo episode at

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a guest that could not make it.

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So here I am, ~ giving you my all once

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again.

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And as you could guess, tonight we're

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we're talking about resilience.

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And I personally believe that resilience

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is not something that you're born with.

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I believe it's built over time.

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Do I you I think you can't be born with

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it.

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I I think ~

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We have this misconception about the what

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it's like to be resilient,

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that if you're resilient, you're just

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naturally tough.

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We assume that somebody that's resilient

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stays calm,

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keeps moving forward, and never needs

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help.

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I think that definition excludes real

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experience of what

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it takes to build that resilience because

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it excludes grief,

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trauma, depression.

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anxiety, addiction, chronic illness,

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and all these life struggles that people

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go through that help them become more

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resilient throughout their life.

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And it it I I think the definition that

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we've made

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up in society makes can make struggling

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people feel as if their pain reveals

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a character flaw.

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You're not flawed if you're struggling.

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You're building up that resilience to help

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you push through the hard later

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on in life.

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This episode I want you to I want to point

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out that resilience

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is not emotional armor. It's it does not

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present or prevent pain,

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relapse, fear, or exhaustion. You're still

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gonna go through these hard times,

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even hard things, even when you do build

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up that resilience.

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Even when it's there, even when you're

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tough minded and can push through

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any challenge that you face.

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But I I think that resilience is

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a set of abilities that can grow.

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And I believe it's you know

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accountability,

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being honest, accepting the appropriate

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health,

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help help, not health, help, and finding

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tools.

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That fit the person and the problem.

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And maybe it's adjusting when an old

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strategy isn't working.

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And just finding the ways to take that

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next possible step,

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even if it's a small one, to get through

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those hard moments.

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To me, that's what resilience looks like.

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And that's what I've been l working on.

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In myself for the past couple years,

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since the end of two thousand twenty four.

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Let me get into that for a minute here.

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So most of you know who've been listening

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know my personal seizure story.

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But let me kind of get into my seizure

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cluster that

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happened in I think it started in kind of

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September,

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October in 2024. I started having really

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bad seizures again after years of only

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having one or two per year.

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They came on all of a sudden.

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I had a few work. I ended up taking a few

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days off and ended up

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in the hospital because I was having five

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or six grand balls a day.

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I spent two or three days in the hospital,

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~ ended up having to take a six week

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medical leave,

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and it led to some very severe depression

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and anxiety ~ plus plus ~ suicidal

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ideation.

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This time I I did have plans on.

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how I was gonna move forward and not be

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there.

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And I ended up having to call

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The cr the the the suicide hotline to get

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help.

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And I feel like this was kind of a turning

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point for me.

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This was a moment where I realized like

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no,

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I need to be here for my family.

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I need to make this work.

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I was finally debating that I needed help.

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I was realizing that I needed to let my

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family in more.

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But it's when I admitted that I needed the

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help,

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I started getting therapy, I s changed my

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diet,

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and I started learning coping skills,

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which only began to build

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my resilience to for future challenges

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that I face.

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But I can tell you tell you one thing.

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I was not a resilient person before.

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It's taken me years to get to this point.

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And I did not become resilient because I

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never fell apart.

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I began rebuilding because I finally told

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the truth about how far apart

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I had fallen.

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That cluster of seizures in two thousand

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two thousand twenty four

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was my breaking point. And I'm not saying

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that I didn't have breaking points before,

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but I just didn't realize how bad it was

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until that point.

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And that experience alone changed the way

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that I understand resilience.

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It is not something a few lucky people are

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born with,

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it's something we build and we continue to

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build.

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Throughout the challenges that we face.

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I remember ~ a guest that I had on this

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was a while back, she had lost her

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eyesight as a teenager.

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So she lost access to everything that she

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knew,

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everything she was familiar with.

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Which included sports.

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And other things that she loved to do.

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Everything that was part of her identity

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was pretty much gone.

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I remember her mentioning that she

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experienced anxiety,

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depression, and hopelessness.

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And do you think that she became confident

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with her loss of eyesight overnight?

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No, it it took years and a lot of help and

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people in her corner

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to push her through this experience.

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And throughout that help that she got,

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she built that resilience. But her parents

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helped

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her out by in in life when this event

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happened to her,

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by making manageable goals. Like,

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you know, they helped her have the ability

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to get up in the morning,

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helped her get dressed, eat breakfast,

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get get to school, all that stuff so she

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could.

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Relearn what life looked like.

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They basically expected her participation,

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but they were providing the necessary

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accommodations for her to

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learn how to do this stuff with her new

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found with her new disability.

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They gave her their ability to believe in

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herself again.

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And a quote ~ taken from her.

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~ episode is the way I coped was the

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support around me.

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It's always important that we have people

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in our corner helping us out.

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The the the support of her family gave her

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a foundation.

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And those small goals that her parent

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parents created,

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they gave her practice.

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And that practice, since it was re

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repeatable,

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produced evidence that she needed to prove

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to herself that she was still capable

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of do all this stuff. So what did that do?

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built mate made her more resilient.

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Confidence was an outcome of the process

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that she was dealing with.

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~ I once ~ talked to a therapist who said

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that

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who described mental health as mental

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health work as an improvement and

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not a magical cure.

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There there is no magical cure for the

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things that we go through

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for the especially the mental health side

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things.

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I thought there would be one point but I

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learned that the hard way,

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that I have to practice these things.

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I have to figure out which tools work best

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for me.

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I create habits.

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Because what it takes to change.

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And change moves through stages and

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requires practice between sessions.

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So thinking back to my guest story about

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her eyesight,

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you know, she lost her eyesight,

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and then support came first, practice came

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next,

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and confidence grew later.

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If resilience is built, then struggling

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cannot automatically mean we lack it.

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~ I I believe that

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There are a lot of people that think this

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they they might be more

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of a quiet thinking and not out loud,

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but it's if it's hard for me I must be

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weak.

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I full on disagree with that. If this is

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hard for me,

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I must be weak. Full on disagree.

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If something's hard for you,

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I don't believe you're weak.

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I believe that you're still trying to

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figure out.

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what works best for you. Try to figure out

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five those tools and techniques that work

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for you to push through those hard

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moments.

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And looking on the outside of you know,

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people that may be struggling.

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Maybe we think they're maybe they're

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resilient,

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maybe they're not. We need to consider the

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weight the person is carrying because

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we never know what they're going through.

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I ran into this ~ tonight as I

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was speaking to a few ~ gentlemen.

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They were I was telling them my my story.

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And that they live in my neighborhood,

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and they said, ~

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It all makes sense now that you.

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that nobody like sees you around much.

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Like it's be you've been dug with with a

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lot.

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It's because they didn't know.

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They didn't know the weight I was carrying

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or ~ what was going on with my family.

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'Cause a and it comes down to the size of

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the action does not reveal

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how much strength is required.

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to get through what you're done with.

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Another ~ guest they had on here.

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And th this is a familiar thing,

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~ because this has been the story of

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multiple guests,

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I should say, living with chronic

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depression.

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And on those difficult days with with

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depression,

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chronic or not, it's very hard to get out

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of bed.

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And getting out of bed can just be too

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large a task.

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But this specific person kind of broke it

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down into a

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few smaller parts of what getting out of

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bed can look like.

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And kind of celebrate those small moments.

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So it's she breaks down the action here.

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It's throw off the covers. Stay there for

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a moment,

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for a moment. Just stay still,

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throw off the covers. You you made one

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step to getting out of bed.

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Never you're there for a moment,

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sit on the edge of your bed.

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Then stand when you're able to.

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And sometimes that's what we have to do.

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As we're working through the hard.

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We have to

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Break items into smaller pieces.

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make it feel like we're we're getting

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somewhere.

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And a good quote that I found in that

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particular episode is the first thing

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to do is throw off the covers.

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Just roll over, throw off the covers and

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lay there for a minute.

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And I I I think about this ~

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And how it relates to you know when I wake

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up in

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the morning and I I work remotely,

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mostly remote, so I don't have to travel

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into the office,

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but when I have a hard time wanting to log

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into my computer.

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First thing is just turning on the

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computer.

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Don't even log into any ~ chat or meetings

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yet,

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just turn on the computer. Just push the

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start button.

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Just sit there for a minute, just suck it

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all in for a minute before

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I actually start working.

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this all we're talking about is,

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you know, taking what what what resilience

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looks like,

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what it takes to build up.

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And

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We

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have to stop judging the size of the step

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without considering the weight

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the person is carrying. Because we have

17:14

like I said,

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we have no idea what somebody is going

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through.

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No idea.

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And there's there's days even for me after

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I I would say that 2026 has been a year

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that

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I have been working really hard on

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building myself up,

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figuring out who I am and what I want to

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do for my life.

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And I believe I'm still there.

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I wouldn't say I'm perfect. Nope,

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far, far from it. But I do believe and

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feel like I'm more resilient.

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I do believe that I have more tools to

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push me through my next challenge.

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And I I believe that part of

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That ~ tolling system is my faith

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framework.

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Every day

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I'm writing down what motivates me.

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I'm making sure that I have a core

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foundation to stand on.

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Every day.

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I'm thinking about my attitude and the

18:39

perspective I'm going to take for that

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So I could shape things out for the

18:46

better.

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Every day I'm showing up with integrity.

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I'm keep keeping promises to myself.

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Every day.

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I'm learning to trust myself with my

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own intuition and trusting the progress

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that may be invisible.

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Every day I'm showing humility.

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I'm taking full accountability for all the

19:21

mistakes that I make,

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setting my ego aside and allowing myself

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to grow.

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I'm thinking of myself less.

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It is possible to

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~ come above.

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s sometimes the resilience the sometimes

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the resilient choice is to take just

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one more step. But sometimes pushing

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harder is also exactly what keeps

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us stuck.

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So we need to remember that pushing

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through is not always resilience.

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It actually takes a lot of self awareness

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to question whether

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you are pushing through for the right

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reasons or just harming yourself

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to prove something.

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~ true resilience includes knowing when to

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stop,

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rest, or pivot. So we we need to

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distinguish between two paths.

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Those paths are are perseverant

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perseverance and self-abandonment.

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So let's go into some of these core

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differences.

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Perseverance aligns with your deepest

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values.

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Self abandonment aligns with your external

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expectations or fear.

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Perseverance respects your physical and

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emotional limits.

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Self abandonment punishes your body and

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mind

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to keep up appearances.

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Perseverance energizes your purpose even

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when difficult.

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And self abandonment drains your spirit

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and breeds resentment.

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So you need to let's re redefine the

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strength here.

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Rest as maintenance.

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And you need to take breaks to prevent

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burnout.

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C w when we're resting, what's happening?

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Our our muscles are grow during rest days.

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The mind and the mind operates well,

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muscles grow during rest days,

21:44

not workout days. The mind operates the

21:44

same way.

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It's your resting is growing and taking a

21:47

break and it's preventing burnout.

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This is not a bad thing to get the rest

21:51

that need.

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~ boundaries are important because they

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protect you.

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I I I believe that setting boundaries mean

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means that you value

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yourself enough.

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To protect yourself.

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Sometimes you need to pivot. Sometimes we

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need to change the direction.

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where we're headed. This this doesn't mean

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you failed.

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Think about it, even rivers change course

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when they hit a solid rock.

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If you're stuck, pivot.

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And to figure out which path you're

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currently on,

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~ you need to ask yourself a a couple of

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questions.

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Am I running toward a goal or am I running

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away from the fear of looking weak?

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If a friend showed me the level of

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exhaustion I feel right now,

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would I tell them to keep going or to

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rest?

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We need to know where our limits are.

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And the self-abandonment ignores pain,

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limits, safety, and the need to maintain

23:18

the image of of toughness.

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So if you're in the middle of self

23:25

abandonment,

23:28

you're not those limits don't exist.

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And I I think we get in our mind too that

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rest is where if we want to rest,

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it's a type of avoidance.

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No, it it's it's not.

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At a guest command.

23:53

And

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He he gave some really good ~ advice for

23:56

this type of thing.

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He said, Be kind to yourself. Name what

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you need and get it.

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Right? If that's a good counselor

24:07

therapist,

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if that's time away, if that's rest,

24:14

be kind to yourself and know that it's

24:14

okay to name what you need.

24:24

There was another guest that had a health

24:24

issue.

24:28

She was a runner, she had a help health

24:28

issue and she had

24:32

to stop running temporarily.

24:36

And she feared

24:40

that this was gonna make her lose her

24:40

mental health benefits.

24:45

The the health was gonna interfere with

24:45

her mental health.

24:56

So she

25:00

Stop she stopped running, it was hard on

25:00

her,

25:03

but she started using other types of

25:03

movement instead.

25:09

This actually ended up helping her out

25:09

with her health and her mental health.

25:13

So the the goal deeper down was actually

25:13

her caring for her health

25:18

and not pro proving loyalty to one tool.

25:30

So a couple of things for you to think

25:30

about right now.

25:36

Is the thing you call discipline helping

25:36

you heal?

25:39

Or is it helping you avoid admitting that

25:39

you need help helping

25:45

you avoid admitting what you need?

25:48

Would you would a pause protect your

25:48

ability to continue later?

25:54

Are you preserving the goal or only

25:54

preserving the appearance of strength?

26:05

Once we release the demand to push through

26:05

everything,

26:08

we can ask a better question. What kind of

26:08

help does this particular person

26:12

and problem require?

26:18

Which leads me to my next kind of segment

26:18

here.

26:23

Recovery is not a one size fits all.

26:30

And this this example is from another

26:30

guest that I had on the show.

26:36

Sh this person lived with bipolar two

26:36

disorder.

26:42

And experienced depression as a teenager

26:42

and again as a young adult.

26:50

And she came to a point where she thought

26:50

everything had ended because

26:54

she was not getting the help she needed.

26:58

She was devastated and it was just making

26:58

things worse.

27:01

Through intensive ~ treatment,

27:07

she eventually it eventually led her to a

27:07

bipolar two diagnosis.

27:16

And that diagnosis better explained ~ the

27:16

patterns that she wo and symptoms that

27:22

she was experiencing and also changed her

27:22

treatment plan.

27:29

for the better. This gave her this gave

27:29

her the tools and medication

27:33

and things that she needed to know in

27:33

order to push through.

27:36

Whereas everything beforehand was not

27:36

going so well.

27:43

It was just putting her in a d darker

27:43

spot.

27:52

And so she was able to ~

27:58

Navigate things differently with a new

27:58

diagnosis.

28:04

And she she said this quote, that kind of

28:04

feeling of it's over and then

28:09

it comes back and navigating that it was

28:09

very painful and difficult to have

28:13

it come back.

28:19

The main ~ lesson with this is

28:30

Working hard with an incomplete map can

28:30

lead us in the wrong direction.

28:38

How do you think she was coping with

28:38

things when she had no idea what was going

28:48

Another lesson that we take from that

28:48

small example is the failure

28:54

of one treatment does not mean the person

28:54

is incapable of recovery.

28:58

Treatment can take years.

29:03

And you can i it's possible to get be it's

29:03

diagnosed.

29:14

may like in order to move on, it it may

29:14

mean diagnosis provider,

29:19

combination of tools, timing, or your

29:19

approach needs to change.

29:30

But looking back to that particular guest.

29:38

She didn't have those great tools or

29:38

treatment plan for a long time because

29:44

They didn't know.

29:53

And I I feel like, you know, there's

29:53

there's all different types of things that

29:56

we can do to help ourselves out.

30:00

Stainless view, ~ therapy,

30:03

group therapy, medication, meditation,

30:07

writing, movement, community.

30:17

Exercise. All these things can help you

30:17

build that.

30:24

Resilience and show that

30:29

You need to find what works for you.

30:34

And maybe change your approach like I said

30:34

in the ~ example of the previous guest.

30:46

There's no one universal formula to get

30:46

the care that you need.

30:57

This is a lot like this is a lot of I I

30:57

feel like when it comes to

31:02

the mental health real, it's a lot of

31:02

trial and error.

31:08

And it really is digging in and finding

31:08

your tools and techniques.

31:23

Then ~ just th there's some research that

31:23

describes resilience

31:26

as a modifiable rather than immovable

31:26

trait.

31:30

there's some backed evidence that says

31:30

exercise

31:36

has evidence is one treatment option for

31:36

depression.

31:43

But there like I said, there's no

31:43

universal formula.

31:48

A key takeaway and kind of where my

31:48

thoughts were going with bringing

31:54

in this section was one tool failing does

31:54

not mean you failed.

31:59

You may need a different tool,

32:02

a different combination, or a better map.

32:10

You to figure out what works best for you.

32:15

Almost every factor tool in these stories

32:15

has one thing in common.

32:18

It connects person to help instead of

32:18

leaving leaving them alone.

32:27

Asking for help is a form of strength.

32:31

I want to return to ~ the guest that I was

32:31

talking about where

32:38

she lost her eyesight.

32:42

I remember in the episode she had defined

32:42

independence as doing everything alone.

32:49

But her blindness forced her to reconsider

32:49

that definition.

32:54

And she learned that independence can

32:54

include knowing her needs,

32:59

communicating them, and trusting someone

32:59

to exit to assist.

33:10

And she said, What I had to realize is

33:10

asking for help is a deep,

33:15

deep source of strength.

33:20

And I remember this for myself.

33:21

I used to think that I had to do

33:21

everything alone.

33:25

That I I would look bad if I asked for

33:25

help.

33:32

But I don't I don't think there's now I

33:32

don't think there's anything wrong with

33:35

asking for help. To me it actually shows

33:35

strength.

33:48

And during the

33:52

Sphere depression, the the guest with

33:52

bipolar two disorder.

33:58

told me that ~ she could not always

33:58

believe recover she did

34:03

not always believe recovery was possible.

34:07

But her parents kept believing in her and

34:07

gave her the support that she needed.

34:14

So she was thankful that and glad that

34:14

someone thought that she could

34:19

get through this.

34:24

And it's that

34:29

I I could tell you right now that finding

34:29

those few people or group

34:34

of people to help you, someone you can go

34:34

to to ask for help is

34:44

Is a lot of times what you need.

34:50

I this to mi this is my wife.

34:55

I've said this before and I'll always I'll

34:55

say it in every episode if I need to.

35:00

But she's one of the people that I've

35:00

always been able

35:06

to go to during my crisis. And and I do

35:06

want to make one thing very clear.

35:15

I think asking for help does not reduce

35:15

your personal resilience.

35:19

I believe it only builds on it.

35:27

But and I I when it comes to my own story

35:32

accepting the fact that I could not do

35:32

things alone,

35:36

I could not I I do not always have the

35:36

capability

35:40

to be independent was actually something

35:40

that made rebuilding possible.

35:48

I've been able to rebuild myself and find

35:48

myself again and again because

35:55

my wife has been able to give me some of

35:55

the tools that I need.

36:08

And most of the time it's I'm not asking

36:08

the anybody to fix what I'm going through.

36:13

All I need them to do is stay with me,

36:17

listen and help me decide on a safe next

36:17

step.

36:34

There are times where you cannot generate

36:34

hope.

36:37

You have to borrow it from someone who

36:37

could hold it for you.

36:40

And that's why we have people help us.

36:45

Because there's time where I I could

36:45

definitely tell you that I was parting a

36:53

But even with the good help and the right

36:53

tools,

36:55

recovery rarely moves in a straight line.

37:00

~ setbacks that come do not erase our

37:00

progress.

37:08

I had a guest that was pretty on here

37:08

pretty recently who who talked about

37:14

the accidental overdose of her of her son.

37:25

And in that episode I got the feeling that

37:25

their task was not getting over

37:30

him or returning to their old lives.

37:31

They had to learn how to live inside

37:37

a permanently changed reality.

37:43

And find support that worked for them.

37:47

And I believe that included grief groups,

37:50

books, community exercise, journaling

37:50

therapy.

37:56

And I think EMDR which is the eye movement

37:56

therapy stuff.

38:05

That was

38:09

Sh she that guest gave me a really good

38:09

quote about her and her husband.

38:16

For the two of us, I think it's gotten not

38:16

better,

38:20

but we live within the realm of this new

38:20

theme called grief.

38:29

So

38:32

They're they're trying to figure this out.

38:34

Like they're trying to figure out how to

38:34

deal with their grief.

38:37

I know you're gonna think, ~ well that

38:37

quote's not good.

38:41

But she's admitting that the grief is

38:41

there,

38:47

it's not going to just disappear.

38:48

It's not going anywhere. She has to figure

38:48

out how to push through this this bad.

39:00

And I remember ~ after she

39:05

she this person that lost her son,

39:08

she explained grief as an orangutan.

39:13

Orangutane? Ringit oringgut?

39:19

Well, a monkey. We'll say a monkey.

39:20

I for some reason am having a hard time

39:20

speaking right now.

39:23

Some days it's peaceful and other days

39:23

it's a terror.

39:27

You can't you don't know what you're gonna

39:27

get from day to day.

39:36

But a terrible day does not mean the

39:36

entire process has failed.

39:39

You have to figure out t how to continue.

39:44

I remember

39:47

~ we it earlier on this episode I

39:47

mentioned the seizures the cluster

39:52

of seizures in two thousand twenty four.

39:56

I remember before that my seizures had

39:56

almost disappeared.

39:59

I was having one or two per year.

40:03

And when they returned, I was angry.

40:08

I thought it was all over for me.

40:10

And it was like a period of time where

40:10

things came back and

40:17

I didn't know what my life was gonna look

40:17

like from then on out.

40:29

I had no idea. I had to learn how to adapt

40:29

again.

40:35

I had to learn what it looked like in the

40:35

future for or I'd learn what

40:40

it looked like for me to be there for my

40:40

family,

40:42

to be present.

40:53

But this was the the the kind of the grief

40:53

for

40:58

me of things returning.

41:03

I had a a bad month and was able to push

41:03

past it and turn things around.

41:19

But it doesn't that but that stint of or

41:19

cluster of seizures it came back.

41:28

That doesn't erase the fact that

41:34

They had disappeared, and that I knew what

41:34

some good days looked like.

41:41

And if it wasn't for my family,

41:44

I don't think I would have been able to

41:44

push through the way that I did.

41:47

But to broaden that point, I want to say

41:47

that you know,

41:50

a a relapse does not erase the sober days.

41:53

You know you can do it. You know you can

41:53

get sober.

41:56

A grief wave does not erase moments of

41:56

connection.

42:00

An anxious day does not erase skills

42:00

learned in therapy.

42:04

A symptom flare does not send someone back

42:04

to the beginning.

42:08

You may think that you're

42:11

Life is back to the start or the

42:11

challenges back

42:18

to where at the beginning but it's just a

42:18

setback.

42:26

And the setback can change today's plan

42:26

without deleting yesterday's growth.

42:36

So

42:38

How do we turn all this into something use

42:38

listener?

42:42

Can we actually use?

42:45

Is where I want to insert the faith

42:45

framework once again.

42:52

I I mentioned this a little bit earlier in

42:52

the podcast,

42:57

but I want to bring it back in because I I

42:57

believe ~ what we've talked about,

43:03

you'll see some value here. So F

43:03

foundation,

43:09

what gives me somewhere to stand?

43:14

for me. this is basically the motivators

43:14

for me that it's I would

43:20

say it's my faith, it's my family.

43:27

It's therapy and the medical care that

43:34

I got in order to

43:39

Push through the heart.

43:42

And I would say this podcast with the

43:42

ability to the the fact that I've found

43:49

purpose in my life again.

43:53

think back to

43:58

guess I s I talked about earlier in the

43:58

episode the the eyesight.

44:03

Her parents supplied a foundation while

44:03

her confidence was low.

44:13

Now building a strong foundation does not

44:13

guarantee you will never fall,

44:18

but it gives you somewhere to begin

44:18

rebuilding.

44:23

And I will say having a strong foundation

44:23

and a

44:29

lot of things that motivate you.

44:33

to make it easier to get back up when you

44:33

do fall.

44:40

A attitude

44:44

What is possible today at my actual

44:44

capacity?

44:52

Basically, what perspective are you

44:52

taking?

44:55

Like what's your next workable action?

45:04

You

45:08

need to avoid ~ false positivity.

45:10

You don't it it's not just about ~ you

45:10

know,

45:16

I'm I'm good, it's all gonna be okay.

45:18

I'm doing better tomorrow.

45:25

No, you d you need to measure against your

45:25

capacity today.

45:38

Yes.

45:40

You for example

45:44

guest that ~ I talked about about ch

45:44

running

45:51

and how she just started movement again

45:51

after her health crisis.

45:54

She started with sixty seconds of jogging

45:54

when she was getting back into running

46:00

because that's all she could do.

46:03

And for me, there's been times where

46:09

~

46:14

I've had a migraine or something going on

46:14

as as far as like my medical stuff goes.

46:22

And I've only been capable of working two

46:22

hours that day because I knew

46:26

I couldn't push myself.

46:31

Attitude is not pretending everything is

46:31

fine.

46:33

It's asking what is possible from where I

46:33

actually am.

46:41

I integrity What truth about my pain,

46:44

safety or need have I been avoiding?

46:50

When you have something that you're in the

46:50

middle of and a strategy

46:55

and it's not working.

46:59

Move on. Try something else.

47:05

It might be time to find some new tools to

47:05

help you out.

47:12

Stop performing recovery for other people.

47:14

It's all about you.

47:20

this one was I think back about myself

47:20

when I admitted that I needed help.

47:28

I had to

47:30

'Cause to me, integrity is about being

47:30

honest.

47:33

Gotta be honest with myself.

47:37

and figure out the right people,

47:39

you know, call the hotline and get the

47:39

help that I needed.

47:44

You cannot rebuild honestly while lying

47:44

about what hurtts.

47:51

T trust who is safe and what specific

47:51

support can I request?

48:00

This is an important one 'cause with trust

48:00

I would say you need trust yourself,

48:04

which is true, but you all also have to

48:04

find at least one person or a community.

48:11

And it it can be a loved one, a therapist,

48:14

a recovery group, whoever it is for you.

48:20

You need them in your corner.

48:24

And so you don't always need them to give

48:24

you advice.

48:26

Sometimes you just need them to listen.

48:28

To hear you out for ten minutes.

48:35

The guest with bipolar two.

48:38

She her ~ parents were her safe space.

48:44

That's where she got her help from.

48:49

Trust is letting someone hold hope for you

48:49

till you can hold it again.

48:52

And finally, humility.

48:55

What smaller step, accommodation,

48:59

rest, or change of direction am I willing

48:59

to accept?

49:02

Sometimes the goal that you have is too

49:02

big.

49:07

You need to reduce it.

49:13

And when you fill the knee rest.

49:18

Maybe you need to try a different tool.

49:19

Don't be afraid to put your ego aside.

49:23

You don't need to

49:27

Impress everybody. This is all about you.

49:35

Like my this goes I think about my guest

49:35

who wanted to keep running when

49:41

she had the health crisis. No,

49:44

she just figured out a form of movement

49:44

she could do.

49:48

She changed it up so she didn't damage

49:48

anything.

49:54

Humility lets the next step be small

49:54

enough to take.

50:03

Now

50:07

I have a challenge for you.

50:10

Pick one letter from the faith framework.

50:17

And identify one action that you can

50:17

complete.

50:24

I encourage you to to tell one person what

50:30

you chose to hold you accountable.

50:37

Now there is one final part of resilience

50:37

that several guests have demonstrated.

50:42

Rebuilding can eventually create per a

50:42

purpose.

50:55

~ I had a guy came ~ that came on.

51:01

Who moved through addiction and treatment

51:01

in twelve step recovery?

51:05

And he had a ~ sponsor and help others.

51:10

That became part of his recovery.

51:13

And service eventually contributed to a

51:13

new sense of purpose and direction.

51:18

He started using breath work

51:23

and is now basically teaches it.

51:29

And he said that

51:34

~ he just dove into the twelve step

51:34

recovery and it changed his life.

51:38

And they're part of that is helping other

51:38

people,

51:42

you know, sponsoring other people and

51:42

passing it on.

51:48

But he found purpose because of his

51:52

~ what he went through.

52:00

That's how I feel with the podcast and the

52:00

things that I'm doing.

52:06

So a couple of things, resilience is not

52:06

ever breaking.

52:09

It's learning what helps you return,

52:13

what helps you push through the heart.

52:15

It's changing the plan where the plan

52:15

causes harm.

52:23

Finding the help that you need,

52:25

allowing other people to participate and

52:25

holding on to that hope that you can.

52:29

And it's taking the next honest step at

52:29

your real capacity.

52:34

Don't try to impress anybody. You do not

52:34

have to prove you're born strong.

52:40

You only have to practice the next skill.

52:42

Trust the next next safe person and make

52:42

the next honest choice.

52:47

That is how we rebuild.

52:52

And like I said, before today ends,

52:55

choose one writer from faith, write down

52:55

one action,

52:59

smile enough to complete in the next

52:59

twenty four hours to tell

53:02

one trusted person what you chose.

53:09

And I hope that you enjoyed this episode.

53:12

If it resonated with you, please share it

53:12

and please help us out by leaving

53:16

us a five-star review on whatever plat

53:16

podcast platform you were listening on.

53:22

It very much helps ~ the algorithm find

53:26

us and recommend us to listeners like you

53:26

yourself.

53:32

Have a great night. Thanks everyone.