Why Not Me? Faith, Recovery, and Finding Strength After a TBI | Tim Malm

0:00

What happens when the thing you built your

0:00

identity around is suddenly taken away

0:05

from you? For Tim Baum, strength used to

0:05

mean competing in the rodeo arena,

0:11

then a traumatic brain injury changed the

0:11

direction of his life,

0:15

but it didn't take away his faith or

0:15

determination.

0:19

Today Tim has a very different definition

0:19

of strength.

0:23

Getting up every day, putting one foot in

0:23

front of the other,

0:26

even if that progress is only one percent.

0:29

In this episode, Tim shares what years of

0:29

recovery have taught him about faith,

0:34

patience, accepting help, and refusing to

0:34

give up when progress feels painfully

0:39

slow. He also shares why he stopped asking

0:39

why me and started asking

0:45

a completely different question,

0:47

why not me? This is a conversation about

0:47

what happens when life changes

0:51

in an instant, but you decide your story

0:51

isn't over.

0:55

Welcome to Overcome with Travis White.

0:59

I hope you enjoy this episode.

1:03

All right. Tim, why don't you go ahead and

1:03

start us off and to tell

1:07

us about your journey?

1:09

Okay, first scan with face.

1:12

Yes, go for it.

1:14

Dear Heavenly Father, we thank you for

1:14

traveling on this broadcast.

1:19

We just ask that the technology is all

1:19

done correctly.

1:26

Lord, I ask you that I include voice

1:31

and that everything goes well.

1:35

And Lord, that there be some listeners

1:35

that are indeed de-striked.

1:43

that they could die from my accident and

1:43

my recovery.

1:49

Lord, we thank you for all you've Good

1:49

night,

1:55

Lord Jesus, in Jesus Christ's name we love

1:55

you,

1:59

amen.

2:01

Amen. Thank you, Tim.

2:03

Yes.

2:05

Thank you, Travis.

2:07

why don't you go ahead and start us off

2:07

and tell us about your journey?

2:13

Well, my journey started a long time

2:13

before

2:19

June 6, 2013.

2:23

But that's when my second journey started.

2:28

It started out like in the other Sunday

2:28

before.

2:34

We went to church.

2:37

I went to a Buddhist house for lunch.

2:42

We decided to rub some of that afternoon

2:46

in my family's arena.

2:49

At the first day of the rub,

2:53

someone to your family left.

2:57

And I was not too making fun of my own

2:57

smooth rubbed front

3:03

leg. So when the rub came tight,

3:07

it ejected like that one day when it went

3:12

down inside. It wasn't a violent ruck or

3:12

violent cross

3:18

or anything like that. But the sudden

3:18

chills got dark and far.

3:25

Cause my brain to slide from one side of

3:25

my head to the other.

3:31

And because of brain swelling it did

3:31

better to brain stem.

3:37

I was transferred to

3:41

to sign the General Medical Center in

3:41

China.

3:51

Without a red mark, a broken bone,

3:54

or even a bruise on me, I suffered

3:59

a TBI traumatic brain injury.

4:04

I spent two weeks in ICU

4:10

and then I transferred to Craig River

4:10

Hospital in Ingles,

4:17

Colorado.

4:20

The first time I opened my eyes since

4:26

the accident, a three-four-month-old

4:31

cry of hospital and the rest of the time

4:36

has been his home. I've

4:40

had the opportunity to speak

4:43

at numerous college rodeos and rodeo

4:43

church.

4:50

I even got the speaker turned for two

4:50

days,

4:55

but two days service,

5:00

to almost 2,000 people.

5:02

Okay.

5:03

But the job is the one thing that remains

5:03

constant through it all.

5:09

Has been good, has been good.

5:17

Well I I am sorry to hear that ~ this

5:17

happened.

5:22

What? And and what does I wanna know

5:22

though,

5:27

I'm curious to know what

5:31

~ had the question right on my hand on my

5:31

tip of my tongue.

5:34

Ha ha ha

5:35

~

5:41

So you suffered the the traumatic brain

5:41

injury.

5:45

What have you

5:46

Yes, sir.

5:47

what have you learned about your sen self

5:47

since the traumatic brain injury

5:53

and everything you've had to go through?

5:55

I have learned that God is more real than

5:55

I ever thought before

6:01

my accident. Before my accident,

6:06

I prayed to a God that was a million miles

6:06

away.

6:11

Now when I pray, it's to a God that's

6:17

six inches in front of me. He is so much

6:17

personal to

6:26

And I can't believe it.

6:30

I was waking around the

6:35

Yeah. That's that's really cool to hear

6:35

that it's helped you

6:38

Yeah.

6:39

grow closer to God. So during this

6:42

Yes.

6:43

time, ~ like I you know,

6:46

it's ~ brought your faith in a better

6:46

spot,

6:49

but was there ever a point when you ~

6:49

questioned God or asked why

6:56

why did this happen to me?

6:58

It's funny, it's really that tough.

7:01

I just wrote another book called Wyoming

7:08

God. And it starts off with all the

7:08

Wyoming's.

7:14

Why did this happen? Why did I go through

7:14

this?

7:19

And then I turn it around to the Wyoming.

7:24

Wyoming for the

7:27

Why not?

7:31

Why not? not? Why not?

7:34

And that is when my question all along is,

7:40

now why me, but why not?

7:46

Why not make TV years where God can tell

7:46

his amazing stories?

7:55

Yeah, that's a good perspective to have.

7:57

And I I I should start take things from

7:57

your your playbook and use

8:02

it because during my lifetime I I've

8:02

questioned the why meme multiple times.

8:07

Why did this happen to me?

8:09

Yes, sir.

8:12

and is not married to Christian God.

8:17

Yeah.

8:18

There have been a bunch of people in the

8:18

Bible that Christian

8:23

God but they never under any circumstances

8:23

doubt him.

8:30

Mm-hmm.

8:34

So after waking up, ~ what's the first

8:34

thing you remember?

8:42

The first thing I remember is when we went

8:42

out I

8:48

had a body going through a rubble that

8:48

stopped flying from

8:53

its horses to the house of toe.

8:57

And that's been my first memory.

9:02

But my first thought when I woke

9:05

up was I had two choices.

9:11

One, I could take it and understand it

9:16

as just something that happened to me.

9:20

Or I could accept it as a gift from God.

9:25

That's that charity did,

9:29

was a gift from God. And this charity was

9:29

lying with other people.

9:40

Yeah, that that'd be a tough situation.

9:43

And I remember after something happened to

9:43

me and it's like I I ha

9:48

had a seizure one time or I've had

9:48

seizures throughout my life and

9:52

~ I'm sorry.

9:54

I remember after my

9:55

first one waking up and just being

9:55

completely

9:58

Yeah.

9:58

confused. Like what is going on?

10:01

Yes, I can imagine that.

10:07

So ~ I I'm guessing

10:13

you've th th throughout the years you've

10:13

held on to your identity as a as a cowboy.

10:18

I'm just making an assumption here.

10:21

Yes

10:21

sir, I still hold a junior rodeo

10:27

in my name and have the second Saturday

10:32

in July in my hometown in

10:36

my name and still

10:39

And

10:39

do a lot of things rodeo-wise.

10:44

That sounds like an important piece of

10:44

your life.

10:47

Why why do you think it's

10:48

Yes.

10:50

why do you think it's remained so

10:50

important to you after all these years?

10:55

It was a huge part of my life and

10:59

I love the sport.

11:04

My high school career and everything is

11:04

all I could think about

11:10

and all I would get day in and day out.

11:13

And God blessed me so much,

11:17

so richly. And that I was embedded in.

11:24

anybody else. But I tried harder than

11:24

everybody else,

11:31

think. And that's what gave me the little

11:31

bit of success.

11:40

Yeah. And what would you say has been the

11:40

hardest part about recovery?

11:47

The hardest part of recovery has been

11:47

seeing

11:53

all my friends do what I love to do and

11:53

what I wish

11:59

I could do. But my body just don't listen

11:59

to me when

12:05

I want to get up and go.

12:10

Yeah, that that would would be tough and

12:10

how do you keep w when seeing these things

12:16

and you know, knowing that ~ there are

12:16

certain things that you may not

12:21

be able to do, how do you keep a strong

12:21

mindset?

12:26

I just go back to the basics and think

12:26

about what

12:33

can I do to make myself better than I can

12:38

do today but maybe tomorrow and

12:43

who knows what tomorrow's gonna hold.

12:46

Have you been to my website?

12:52

Yeah. I was actually you lean into it.

12:55

~ Stronger four thirteen. I'd love for you

12:55

to tell us more about your website.

13:01

Yes, sir.

13:04

It was just something I came up with.

13:08

I just fell in love with the verse.

13:13

And it became my way of doing anything.

13:19

And the coffee was down the road in ways.

13:25

I started off with coffee mugs,

13:29

then had some tea shirts.

13:34

and then coffee. But I'd love to coffee

13:34

now.

13:39

can't get enough of it. But I

13:42

Yeah.

13:43

only get one cup a day. But who's counting

13:49

how big a coffee is? Ha. Ha.

13:56

I I would love ~ you can finish your

13:56

thought.

13:56

The DVD. Go ahead.

13:59

I was gonna say I'd love to

13:59

Sorry.

14:01

to hear what that ~ the verse Philippians

14:01

four thirteen means to you.

14:10

I need to rest for a while.

14:14

Then after my accident, it became a staple

14:20

to my everything. When I was riding my

14:20

8-combat bike,

14:27

I did a hard exercise. I had no telling

14:33

how many times I repeated that rest

14:37

to myself and just replaying it in my

14:37

head.

14:44

Excuse me, just try one more time.

14:48

Keep going to do some more work.

14:53

And that's been the stable part of my

14:53

recovery.

15:03

That's that's and that's a good verse to

15:03

pick too.

15:06

For

15:07

Yes.

15:08

those listening, it's Philippians four

15:08

thirteen.

15:11

I can do all things through Christ who

15:11

strengthens me.

15:15

Just ~

15:19

But

15:19

So

15:20

I don't like their vision. I like

15:24

the understanding vision of Lee.

15:28

But

15:28

Mm-hmm.

15:29

I can do all this to him who gives me

15:29

strength.

15:36

I don't like that I can do all things

15:36

because there

15:42

are lot of things I don't want to do.

15:47

And I can do all this just narrowly done.

15:52

I can go not riding my bike.

15:55

I can do all this right here now riding

15:55

the bike.

16:00

I can go one more mile.

16:05

Yeah. And it's it's amazing what we can do

16:05

if we have God by our side,

16:11

right?

16:12

And that's two.

16:15

Do you do you believe there are things

16:15

that ~ God has given

16:19

you through this experience that you would

16:19

have never discovered if

16:24

the accident did not happen?

16:27

Almost certainly one of them has been my

16:27

business.

16:33

Stronger for the thing that is something I

16:33

never would have gotten into.

16:40

The other big one is public speaking.

16:45

Before my accident I didn't

16:49

do any public speaking at all.

16:53

I didn't like it.

16:57

Now I can't get enough of it.

16:59

Yeah.

17:01

The bigger the crowd, the better.

17:06

~

17:08

it's always important to find something

17:08

that we enjoy,

17:10

right?

17:11

Definitely.

17:15

So ~ I I've struggled this next question.

17:20

I I wanna know I'm just curious because

17:20

I've struggled with it.

17:23

~ for me a lot of times during ~ journeys

17:23

that I've been through

17:28

and struggles that I've been through,

17:29

it's been hard

17:33

for me to ~ keep track of the progress

17:33

because it's really

17:40

slow.

17:43

So

17:43

Yes.

17:44

w what's one mental conversation that you

17:44

have with yourself on days when progress

17:51

seems to be a slow pace?

17:56

Master has all been slow. But

18:00

I keep reminding myself that God can

18:00

change it

18:06

all in the blink of an eye. So I am

18:06

reminded

18:12

of this where God said, a day is like a

18:12

thousand days to me,

18:19

a thousand days is like a day to you.

18:24

Something like that.

18:28

Thousand years. It's like a daydream.

18:33

I'm just waiting for tomorrow.

18:39

I love it. I love I love your attitude.

18:41

You have such a great attitude.

18:44

~ Thank you.

18:47

You

18:47

I'm a citizen so that...

18:56

Did w so when the accident ha took place ~

19:03

Let's see, I'm I'm trying to think of how

19:03

to word this.

19:07

Yeah.

19:11

When w after the accident took place,

19:13

when did you understand that this recovery

19:13

~ was probably going to

19:18

be longer than expected?

19:22

I still don't know that I really

19:22

understood that every night

19:29

I go to bed I think that I'm gonna be here

19:29

tomorrow.

19:34

So I can't really answer the question.

19:38

No, I think no I think that's a fair

19:38

answer.

19:38

~

19:41

Now you I think you nailed it,

19:43

so

19:47

So

19:47

I I think that's a really a really good

19:47

answer to be honest because

19:52

Yeah.

19:55

And what for for those ~ that

20:00

may be listening and are maybe th they had

20:00

some accident

20:07

or something that they're

20:07

Yeah.

20:07

trying to overcome, what advice do you

20:07

give that person?

20:12

The advice I give would be never quit,

20:17

never give up, always keep trying,

20:22

try once more. And everybody is on

20:26

the road of recovery. Whether it

20:31

be a magic manager like I have,

20:36

to a bum, or then you like somebody else.

20:42

Everybody is on the road of recovery and

20:42

the only thing

20:48

is who you recover with and who's gonna

20:48

bless

20:54

you if you go through it. So draw near

20:59

to God and never ever give

21:04

up on God because he has never and will

21:04

never give up on you.

21:13

Yeah. Very true. ~ I've been reading a

21:13

book that kinda talks about that.

21:18

It's I can't remember the name of the

21:18

book,

21:20

but it's by C S. Lewis. He's

21:23

Yeah.

21:24

and he's taught he basically says that God

21:24

doesn't give up on you.

21:29

Yeah... That's about two...

21:34

So be before your accident,

21:38

you know, strength might have been ~

21:40

Yeah.

21:41

winning i in the arena, winning ~ that

21:41

that event

21:45

Definitely.

21:46

in the rodeo. ~ what does what does

21:46

strength look like you to you today?

21:53

Trying to me looks like getting up

21:53

everyday

21:57

and putting one foot in front of the

21:57

other.

22:02

Figuratively, because I can't walk,

22:07

but figuratively and keeping trying

22:07

everything

22:12

and getting better even

22:18

if it's only 1 % everyday.

22:22

That means in 100 days you're 100 %

22:22

better.

22:27

Yes, it might take a little bit longer,

22:32

but who knows what tomorrow holds.

22:38

Yeah. It's it that's a great way to s

22:38

great statement is

22:44

who knows what tomorrow hold holds.

22:46

I always think to live your best life

22:46

today because it's exactly what you said,

22:52

you don't know what tomorrow holds.

22:55

Yeah.

23:00

But so is there something that you can do

23:00

today that most people would consider

23:06

small, but you know that it represents

23:06

years of hard work?

23:13

heating a glass of water in the middle of

23:13

the night.

23:22

Keeping up to brush teeth. Keeping up

23:27

to do something away. Keeping up to change

23:32

the channel on TV. Those are things I've

23:32

longed

23:38

to do and most people take them for

23:38

granted.

23:43

I know I did before when I could do all of

23:43

them.

23:52

Yeah, that's ~ we do take a lot of things

23:52

for granted,

23:56

but it's

23:57

Yes.

23:57

unfortunate that we don't realize it until

23:57

later on in life.

24:03

Yeah.

24:06

So if if you could talk to Tim yourself on

24:06

the night of the accident,

24:11

what would you tell him about the man he

24:11

was going to become?

24:18

I was saying, you don't know how big a

24:18

following you're gonna

24:24

have. So put your best foot forward each

24:24

and every day.

24:30

And always do right by him and keep God

24:30

first.

24:36

Cause you're gonna have something big in

24:36

the little aisle.

24:47

Very very well said.

24:53

What

24:56

What has this ~ experience taught you

24:56

about yourself without

25:03

giving up on where you want to go?

25:08

This taught me more persistence.

25:15

mean there's certain things I want to do,

25:20

would take it easy. I want to do to the

25:20

larks.

25:25

But I know that I got to keep going,

25:30

got to keep trying. Try to want tomorrow.

25:39

And for for that person ~ listening who

25:39

believes that their best days

25:44

are behind them because ~

25:48

Yeah.

25:49

life didn't turn out the way they wanted

25:49

it to,

25:52

you

25:53

what do you say to that person?

25:56

But

25:56

I said to that person, you don't need God.

26:01

I came for some purpose and he will give

26:08

you something to do. And I felt like that

26:08

was a while ago.

26:14

Then I started my business

26:20

and started looking at the people.

26:24

And I just know a huge following.

26:27

And I know lots and lots of people.

26:36

I love it. ~ you so your accident happened

26:41

in in two thousand ten. So

26:44

Yes sir.

26:45

so that's basically fifteen years working

26:45

toward recovery.

26:50

Yeah.

26:51

What has patience taught you that

26:51

determination was unable to teach you?

26:59

Well, I don't really like patients that

26:59

would die.

27:04

I've never been much

27:09

of a person. I'm one thing,

27:13

now I live in a fast food world.

27:23

Yep. I'm the same way. My my wife will

27:23

always tell me,

27:27

~ I'm not always a patient person.

27:30

Yeah.

27:33

I want things

27:34

now.

27:36

Amen.

27:40

So this next question I relate with a lot.

27:43

~

27:44

Yeah.

27:46

so when I first had my seizures,

27:48

I had to start asking for help.

27:50

So

27:51

Yeah.

27:53

quite a bit. So what has been harder for

27:53

you learning to ask

27:59

for help or learning to accept help?

28:04

No comment.

28:06

No comment.

28:08

Both of them are extremely tough for me.

28:11

Yeah.

28:12

Cause before my accident, if I wanted

28:12

something done,

28:18

I did try harder. Now I have

28:23

to ask and I have to accept it.

28:27

But I heard a while ago that I can't be

28:27

taken.

28:34

other people's blessings. The

28:36

Mm-hmm.

28:37

way that their blessing is helping me,

28:41

that's a real change to me.

28:44

When I like somebody helping me do

28:44

something,

28:49

if I can send all the blessings to them

28:55

as much as me, then they can't differ in

28:55

perspective.

29:04

Yeah, that's that's a great answer.

29:06

'Cause I I I was the same way.

29:08

It's in when I first went experienced

29:08

stuff I was like,

29:13

I don't want to ask for help. If I want it

29:13

done,

29:14

Yeah.

29:15

I just want to go and do it.

29:16

Yeah. Yes sir.

29:22

It's it's the that when that independence

29:22

is taken go taken away from you it's

29:30

Kind of a kind of a a bombshell to your

29:30

mind.

29:34

Yeah.

29:38

That reminds me, my doctor compared

29:43

my brain injury to having a grenade

29:49

go off between my ears.

29:58

So what ~ if somebody listening one or

29:58

what

30:04

do you hope ~ what's one takeaway that you

30:04

hope listeners,

30:10

you know, will walk away from listening to

30:10

this episode?

30:16

I hope they understand how much I would

30:16

like

30:21

to talk to them. They can attend my

30:21

website,

30:27

my Facebook or my Instagram,

30:32

or anything I would like to talk to them.

30:37

But just to persevere,

30:40

which is going to...

30:43

And just remember that there is someone

30:43

that's always got it worse than you.

30:50

So if you think you've gone through

30:50

something bad,

30:55

look at me.

31:00

Because I don't think anybody is going to,

31:07

but I'm going to pretend that there is

31:07

always someone worse

31:12

off so that someone that can

31:16

be healthy and walking

31:20

but doesn't know God and He's actually

31:20

worse

31:27

off than me.

31:31

And

31:31

you know what's really sad, Travis?

31:39

Yeah, it's it's it's it's true that

31:39

there's there's always somebody going

31:45

you know, something worse. Like it's I I

31:45

feel

31:47

Cheers.

31:48

like our experiences in some ways like

31:48

kind of

31:52

Peace.

31:52

overlap each other, even though we have

31:52

different stories and backgrounds.

31:56

and

31:57

I always think there's some common ground

31:57

we can find.

31:59

But

31:59

Yeah.

32:00

it's like there's there's times where it's

32:00

like my story sounds like nothing

32:04

compared to this person, but I always

32:06

Yes.

32:07

try to not compare either because it's

32:07

like just have

32:09

Ha! Yeah.

32:11

a good attitude. Like in I wanna say that

32:11

I admire what you're doing

32:17

and the attitude that you have.

32:19

Cause you

32:21

I'll

32:21

tie you.

32:23

How tall am I?

32:25

Yeah.

32:25

I am five foot ten,

32:29

eleven ish, right in there. I think it's

32:29

about five ten.

32:31

Okay,

32:33

okay, I tolerated you. And the only reason

32:33

you can look up

32:39

to me is because I tolerated you,

32:42

nothing else.

32:45

I love it.

32:48

Yeah. ~

32:51

~

32:54

see there was one more question that I was

32:54

thinking of.

32:58

So what today, what does a good day look f

32:58

like to you?

33:04

What

33:04

are we doing tomorrow?

33:08

That's all I can focus on is what to do

33:08

tomorrow.

33:14

That's my whole thing is like

33:19

my next calf that I will be so good.

33:24

Cause that will be tomorrow.

33:28

I don't know which tomorrow that will be.

33:33

But it will be tomorrow.

33:40

Love it. And where you've mentioned your

33:40

website

33:44

and you've mentioned ~ inst people can

33:44

find you on Instagram.

33:50

Is there anywhere else that people can

33:50

find you?

33:54

Facebook, Instagram, or my website which

34:00

has my email address

34:04

as team at StrongerForTheTeam.com

34:14

Perfect. And is there any last thing that

34:14

you would like to bring

34:21

up that we did not discuss?

34:24

I would love to talk to you. So if there's

34:24

anything else that

34:31

you think you'd say, please contact me.

34:36

I am a people person.

34:46

Perfect. W well Tim, thank you so much for

34:46

coming on

34:51

the show and taking some time to tell your

34:51

story.

34:55

I admire that you're out there helping

34:55

people and ~

35:01

I love the good attitude that you

35:01

represent.

35:04

Keep it up because

35:06

Thank you,

35:07

Travis, and the honor has been all mine.

35:13

And thank you to all those listening.

35:15

~ if this re episode

35:17

this.

35:17

resonated with you, please leave us a five

35:17

star review and give us a follow.

35:22

Thanks again.

35:23

Yeah.