What 83 Episodes Taught Me About Mental Health | Travis White

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Hello, welcome to Overcome with Travis

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White.

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I am flying solo tonight. There's no

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guest.

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But let's just jump right into this

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episode.

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So this is something that has been

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weighing on my mind for some time.

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I have been podcasting for well over a

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year now.

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I have just I just recorded my say I just

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released my 83rd episode last

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week.

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So that's an accomplishment for me.

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Most of these conversations have been with

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guests,

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~ although I have a few solo episodes ~

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sharing

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my own experiences. And when I look back

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on all of them,

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we've covered a lot of ground.

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There's been multiple stories that cover

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the same thing.

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~ one thing I know is everyone has a

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story.

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But we've covered things such as

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depression,

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anxiety, addiction, trauma,

1:04

grief, chronic illness, burnout,

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relationships, recovery, and I'm sure

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there's more.

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But there's been one question weighing

1:12

pretty heavy on my mind lately.

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And that's after all of these

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conversations,

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what have I actually learned about mental

1:23

health?

1:28

I'm not talking about one diagnosis or one

1:28

person's experience.

1:32

Like what have I actually learned about

1:32

people when it comes to

1:37

~ mental health conditions or

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'Cause there's after after doing this for

1:45

so long,

1:48

you start to notice patterns and that's

1:48

where I'm at.

1:56

There's been times where I've heard things

1:56

that have challenged what I believe,

2:01

and I've also had times where it's

2:01

challenged how I think about other people.

2:09

So I'd say the last year and a half I I do

2:09

think a little bit

2:12

~ differently about other people as well

2:12

as myself,

2:16

especially when it comes to mental health,

2:19

because there's a lot of things that I

2:19

didn't know before.

2:23

And ~ there might be some things that I

2:23

knew,

2:26

I just didn't really think about.

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So that's basically what I want to talk

2:32

about today is what I've learned about

2:35

mental health after a year of podcasting.

2:38

So the first thing that I've learned

2:44

is I something that I think we all need to

2:44

remember because I think we

2:50

run into this a lot more than we really

2:50

notice.

2:55

And that's is looking okay doesn't mean

2:55

that you're okay.

3:04

There's been stories ~ that I've heard on

3:04

this podcast

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as well as in other spots or other places

3:10

that there's

3:16

so many people that

3:21

~ fake what they're going through.

3:25

They they seem totally I shouldn't say

3:25

fake what they're going through.

3:28

They seem totally fine on the outside,

3:30

but on the inside they're very much

3:30

struggling.

3:35

it because mental health doesn't always

3:35

look like somebody's falling apart.

3:44

it's possible for people to still work,

3:46

laugh, socialize,

3:50

and totally pretend that everything's

3:50

okay.

3:54

I like to I think that this is this is

3:54

basically referred to as

3:58

~ high high functioning mental health.

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And I I've seen it happen a lot,

4:06

and it's

4:10

some of the highest performers that I've

4:10

ever worked with struggle with this.

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But when you really get down to speaking

4:15

with these people,

4:19

there's a different type of pain that

4:19

they'll admit to.

4:28

But these are the type of people that

4:28

usually never complain.

4:33

They're always working. They're always

4:33

strong.

4:36

I I've been this person multiple times.

4:41

~ for example, ~

4:46

I use humor a lot to hide what I'm doing

4:46

going through.

4:50

If I'm really anxious or feeling

4:50

depressed,

4:56

I'll try to say something funny to make

4:56

people laugh or make myself laugh

5:01

to lighten the mood. But ~ deep down

5:06

I'm not okay. And I I believe that

5:16

These people that describe themselves as

5:16

high functioning.

5:22

They keep themselves busy on purpose.

5:24

And that's to stop them from dealing what

5:24

is really going on underneath the surface.

5:35

And I was thinking about this,

5:36

I wondered, well, has there ever been a

5:36

time that I looked okay on the outside

5:43

and I absolutely was not okay?

5:44

And yes, there's been multiple times.

5:48

The main time in my life that comes to

5:48

mind is when

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I was well,

5:56

I shouldn't say a specific time because

5:56

this has been the span of years.

6:00

But I always go back to my seizures.

6:04

'Cause as I've talked about before,

6:06

my seizures caused a lot of anxiety,

6:09

depression, and dissociation,

6:12

among other things.

6:17

And for the longest time

6:22

Many people

6:26

did not have a clue what I was going

6:26

through because I'd mask it.

6:33

Especially I look back and I I think of

6:33

especially when I was going to college.

6:37

~ probably my last two years,

6:41

especially yeah, ~ probably most of my

6:41

last two years.

6:45

~

6:49

I was in a very, very bad spot.

6:55

And I didn't really always talk about that

6:55

~ part of me,

7:01

especially th the depression and darkness

7:01

part that the

7:07

the shadow that was casting over me.

7:12

And it was it was a tough time,

7:14

but I've seen that many times in my life.

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And one thing about this I've learned is

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that

7:24

I it it's changed the way I look at people

7:24

who seem fine.

7:28

I don't always a s I don't assume that

7:28

people are fine just because they seem

7:32

Because we

7:37

Get so good at hiding stuff. Especially if

7:37

you've been on the side

7:43

of of the suffering.

7:47

So something I want you to think about as

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you're listening to the rest

7:52

of this podcast, or maybe you sit down

7:52

write this question down and come back

7:58

to it later. Have you ever looked

7:58

completely fine during one

8:03

of the hardest periods of your life?

8:05

What does that look like?

8:12

The next thing is

8:15

that I've learned is healing isn't isn't

8:15

linear linear linear whatever.

8:21

I can't talk.

8:25

So from the beginning to the end it just n

8:25

does not go from bad to good.

8:31

You're always gonna have your ups and

8:31

downs through anything that you're

8:36

experiencing. And this this I've always

8:36

known this

8:41

~ part. It's just I've seen a different

8:41

side of it because I've heard

8:47

so many stories of ~ I

8:50

I thought I was done. I thought I was in a

8:50

good spot.

8:53

But then this happened. So then it brought

8:53

back brought back my anxiety,

8:59

brought back my depression.

9:04

So like it it's I'm not saying a

9:10

bad day erases the six months of the hard

9:10

work that you've put in because that would

9:14

be a total lie. And one little setback is

9:14

not the same as starting over.

9:20

But as your

9:24

continuing to heal and it is an ongoing

9:24

process.

9:30

Just know that these things can return and

9:30

they will and they will

9:34

hit you unexpectedly.

9:40

But I also look at it this way.

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I think about myself now compared to who I

9:42

was even three or four years ago.

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And well I I s I still feel like I'm

9:51

healing and still feel like

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I'm pushing past the heart and there's

9:56

certain things in my life that I know

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are not going to go.

10:04

But I can control certain aspects of them.

10:06

For example, with my seizures,

10:09

I can control what I eat. I can control my

10:09

diet,

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which I flat out believe has been linked

10:18

to my seizures. So I have the which which

10:18

and then the seizures will cause

10:24

the anxiety or you know whatever.

10:26

But I have certain tools in my life that I

10:26

did not have before that.

10:34

I can use now to help me push through the

10:34

things that return.

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'Cause I will say for for for certain that

10:44

for

10:50

the most part and to me in my eyes,

10:55

my opinion, I'm I'm no therapist,

10:58

I'm no doctor, but anxiety and depression

10:58

don't just

11:05

go away. You have to learn techniques to

11:05

control them.

11:12

But don't get me wrong, when I have guests

11:12

that come on and say,

11:16

you know what? Well let me back up.

11:20

When I have guests that come on and tell

11:20

me some clean recovery story,

11:25

how they struggled and then there was a

11:25

breakthrough and bam,

11:27

it was fixed. I love those stories.

11:29

Who doesn't love a a clean recovery story?

11:35

But let's face it, y f real life usually

11:35

isn't like that.

11:39

But there are those stories and I love

11:39

them.

11:45

So

11:50

I I still feel like I'm

11:54

Think back. ~ there's been times,

11:57

multiple times, too, as I've thought

11:57

through this,

12:00

that let me use an example of back in the

12:00

end of 2024.

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That's when I had a big cluster of

12:07

seizures and struggled

12:12

big time with ~ especially with

12:12

depression.

12:17

It was a very dark time for me,

12:18

and I felt like I was back to square one.

12:20

Though, ~

12:23

This is all starting over. I have to go

12:23

through this all again.

12:28

Have I not learned anything in the last

12:32

Ten plus years.

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So that was there's been multi that was

12:37

the biggest time where I thought that

12:41

I expect to score one, but I also believe

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that was the time that really pushed

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me to start healing.

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So here's another question to think about.

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I'm gonna leave you with a question to

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think about after every kind

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of section or segment that I I maybe

13:03

lesson that I talk about.

13:08

Have you ever convinced yourself that

13:08

you're back at the beginning simply

13:15

you struggled again?

13:25

Here's another big lesson that I learned.

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And this one I don't think I ever thought

13:28

about.

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So the third one is sometimes a thing

13:34

hurting you started

13:37

as something protecting you. This has been

13:37

an interesting one for me.

13:45

A couple examples ~ that I've of stories

13:45

that I've heard from stories that I've

13:51

heard, ~ addiction often starts as an

13:51

attempt to numb pain.

14:00

Anger often protects what's underneath it

14:00

and some kind

14:07

of past experience.

14:12

People pleasing can often be protecting ~

14:12

conflict or abandonment.

14:22

And another one is isolation often feels

14:22

safer

14:29

~ than risking being hurt.

14:34

The the list still goes on and on.

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This doesn't give you the excuse to use

14:38

destructive behavior

14:45

at all. ~ one of the biggest parts

14:50

of moving forward with mental health

14:50

issues is being accountable.

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And that still matters.

15:04

Biggest part of

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~ understanding this is trying to figure

15:08

out the

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why of what ~

15:20

Of why something developed so you can

15:20

change it.

15:25

So going back to are you angry all the

15:25

time?

15:27

Well, where does that anger stem from?

15:31

Like what is it underneath that you're

15:31

going through or you've experienced

15:36

in the past that keeps that anger going?

15:39

For I I can speak on this.

15:43

I I use I I it may be genetic thing,

15:48

I'm sure it is. But I I do get some

15:55

I do have some anger problems and I'm I

15:55

work on them constantly.

15:59

I'm not always perfect. But that's the

15:59

best part of being about being human.

16:03

We're allowed to make mistakes.

16:05

But I can tell you that I I often

16:10

set that anger up as a defense mechanism

16:10

because

16:15

I feel like people are attacking me.

16:18

I take things really personal.

16:27

And that's a an issue that I I need to

16:27

correct.

16:39

Let's see the

16:43

There's a couple other thoughts here that

16:43

I'm I'm trying to

16:51

Just just set my mind.

16:54

But I I just feel like once you understand

16:54

the why it's easier to move

16:59

on and fix these behaviors.

17:07

It's not always easy to admit that you

17:07

have a problem though.

17:13

So the question to think about is what

17:13

behavior have you judged

17:19

in yourself without asking what purpose it

17:19

originally served?

17:23

Let me say that one more time.

17:26

What behavior have you judged in yourself

17:26

without asking what purpose

17:31

it it originally served?

17:40

So this next one is probably one of my the

17:40

the biggest ones because I've talked

17:44

about it's been brought up time and time

17:44

again.

17:47

This is talking about ~ community.

17:51

So the lesson learned is people need

17:51

connection more than they need fixing.

18:00

There have been countless ~ guests that

18:00

I've

18:05

had on whose turning points came because

18:05

they somebody was there.

18:14

And I'm not saying that that perfect that

18:14

person had perfect advice perfect advice

18:19

for them because probably not the case.

18:20

That that person or community doesn't even

18:20

need to solve anything.

18:27

Like it could they could be there just to

18:27

listen.

18:29

But I've said that this has been brought

18:29

up multiple times,

18:32

that part of the healing process is to

18:32

have a community of people.

18:37

Maybe it's just one person. Just somebody

18:37

in your corner to

18:45

cheer you on to listen to give you advice

18:45

when needed and to help

18:49

you celebrate the small ones or maybe the

18:49

bigger ones.

18:51

But also the biggest one for me is

18:51

somebody that believes in them.

18:58

~

19:02

For for me, this would be my wife.

19:04

She's been there ~ through the ups and

19:04

downs,

19:09

the good, the bad, the ugly. But she she

19:09

is my my safe space.

19:15

I feel like I can tell her everything,

19:20

well, most of the time. There's times

19:20

where the past where I know that I've

19:29

maybe hidden or not communicated so well

19:29

of how I felt.

19:33

And I'm still not the best communicator.

19:35

But if it wasn't for her, I would not be

19:35

where I am today.

19:43

And coming from the side of things where I

19:43

I'm the person who's experienced

19:47

the mental health issues, oftentimes

19:47

that's all I need is somebody just to

19:53

I don't need you to fix me. Because when

19:53

you try to fix me,

19:59

I oftentimes shut down. You don't need to

19:59

be my therapist.

20:08

But I actually

20:12

Th this reminds me of a a comment that I

20:12

got on ~ YouTube.

20:18

It was a short. And the short had one of

20:18

my guests talking about

20:26

men being able to open up and that it's

20:26

actually a really good thing that we're

20:33

having more talk about men's mental

20:33

health.

20:39

And the com is this isn't verbatim,

20:41

but it was along the lines of like

20:45

When was it noble for men to speak out

20:45

with their problems?

20:50

Keep your problems to yourself,

20:52

you pathetic boy.

20:58

Where did that come from? Asking for help

20:58

is not a weakness.

21:03

Telling your story is not a weakness.

21:12

Sometimes asking for help is taking

21:12

responsibility for yourself.

21:15

It's finally coming out of your shell and

21:15

admitting that there's something wrong

21:19

with you.

21:28

There's another story that comes to mind.

21:30

~ this one also dates back to two thousand

21:30

twenty-four.

21:39

~ this is a moment when I a a friend of

21:39

mine told me

21:48

about their suicide attempt that I had no

21:48

idea existed.

21:55

And from then on I started telling this

21:55

person when I had a bad day.

22:00

Because I know that he wanna always try to

22:00

give me advice.

22:04

He'd listen. Even if it was he didn't even

22:04

reply back.

22:07

If he just liked my text, I knew that he

22:07

was reading it.

22:11

And that's sometimes it's all I needed.

22:15

And I oftentimes I chose him because he

22:15

went through some similar

22:22

experiences.

22:30

The and now there this

22:35

Here's the the question to think about for

22:35

this.

22:37

~

22:46

Is there someone in your life that you

22:46

could actually

22:52

Tell the truth to. That you actually trust

22:52

enough

22:56

to tell all your dirty little secrets,

23:01

we'll call your dirty little secrets.

23:11

The next lesson relates a lot to

23:15

Let's call it the stigma of mental health.

23:18

And this lesson is mental health doesn't

23:18

just happen in your head.

23:24

This is a huge recurring theme that I

23:24

didn't want to overlook.

23:32

'Cause oftentimes you'll hear the phrase,

23:36

it's all in your head. It's just a phase,

23:38

you'll get over it. ~ just sleep it off.

23:45

Well, none of those are good advice.

23:52

And i mental health isn't all in your

23:52

head.

23:58

It's a whole it's a whole body thing.

24:02

and it's all connected. For the longest

24:02

time I actually thought that mental health

24:08

was all in your head, but the the more po

24:08

episodes I've done,

24:14

the more I've learned. And and I've talked

24:14

to ~ functional medicine doctors

24:21

who've said, No, this this is this is all

24:21

connected.

24:24

Sleep matters. Chronic pain matters.

24:28

Hormones matter.

24:32

Nutrition.

24:35

~ the way your body handles stress,

24:37

like trauma, all this stuff matters.

24:44

They're they're all connected.

24:46

Now, like I mentioned before, that I'm no

24:46

doctor,

24:48

so I can't tell you how, but mental and

24:48

physical health are

24:52

not two completely separate systems.

24:55

They're linked together. And by no means

24:55

am I saying that every mental health

25:01

condition can be fixed with sleep,

25:02

exercise, or diet, because that's not

25:02

true.

25:04

I can tell you that when I eat better,

25:12

I do feel like my anxiety goes down.

25:14

But there's also other causes to my

25:14

anxiety,

25:17

so it's not always the case.

25:23

But what sometimes I feel once again just

25:23

stating

25:30

my opinion that that's the problem we have

25:30

with medicine here in the United States.

25:37

We don't always look at the person as a

25:37

whole.

25:38

We want to treat everything like

25:45

as its own separate entity. For example,

25:47

you have a heart condition, you go to the

25:47

heart prop or heart doctor.

25:53

You have a brain issue, you go to the

25:53

neurologist.

25:58

They're not telling you that those things

25:58

like you know,

26:01

they're often not telling you that those

26:01

things could be connected.

26:04

~ I I look back my seizures and they never

26:04

told

26:11

me that once that ~ my seizures could be

26:11

affected by my diet.

26:18

Took me years to figure that out.

26:24

Years and years to figure that out.

26:29

So and it's

26:33

in in the f if if your physical health is

26:33

bad,

26:36

most likely it's gonna cause a mental

26:36

health issue.

26:43

I can fall on a test for that.

26:55

And once I once I

27:02

connected the two physical and mental

27:02

health and it did something about it.

27:06

It it did change.

27:19

It's the question for for this one,

27:23

question for you to think about.

27:24

Write this down.

27:28

How has my own physical health affected my

27:28

mental health?

27:32

See if there's anything you can come up

27:32

with.

27:43

This next one is another cute huge lesson.

27:46

Grace and accountability can exist

27:46

together.

27:57

We we often think that being hard on

27:57

ourselves will motivate us and push

28:03

us push us ourselves to the next level.

28:06

You know, you repeat in your head,

28:09

I can do better. Why can't I handle this?

28:12

What's wrong with me? ~ I messed up again.

28:16

That's that's not motivation though,

28:20

that's shame.

28:25

And what does shame do? It often makes you

28:25

feel trapped.

28:31

The this one the word grace has come up

28:31

multiple times throughout

28:37

the last year and a half.

28:42

And I've said it multiple times as well.

28:46

One of the biggest life changers for me

28:46

when it comes to

28:53

how I think about myself is showing myself

28:53

grace.

29:04

Showing yourself grace doesn't mean you're

29:04

you're avoiding c coun accountability

29:08

or responsibility.

29:14

means that you're to me it's acknowledging

29:14

that,

29:17

you know, I messed up.

29:20

I'm okay. I can move on. I can change

29:20

this.

29:24

How do I do that? It's giving me the

29:24

ability to try again.

29:32

Without Dungeon in such a harsh way that I

29:32

feel h make myself felt worthless.

29:42

It's it's showing yourself a little

29:42

honesty and compassion.

29:47

I don't think in any way it's means that

29:47

you're lowering your standards.

29:56

In no way is it lowering your standards.

30:06

For me

30:09

It was over the years I've been extremely

30:09

hard on myself.

30:12

And I I am the first one to put myself

30:12

down.

30:18

So it took some time to learn how to show

30:18

myself grace.

30:28

And I I still can't always tell you what

30:28

that looks like.

30:34

But I can tell you it allow I've allowed

30:34

myself to make more mistakes and

30:38

not be so harsh on myself.

30:44

Because I thought somehow thought that

30:44

beating myself up was better.

30:47

That telling myself that I was a piece of

30:47

shit or not good enough was better.

30:58

But now I can fall and say I can look in

30:58

the mirror after I've made

31:04

a mistake and be like, you know what?

31:07

It's going to be okay. What did I learn?

31:13

I can try again tomorrow.

31:23

So what does that what does shun grace

31:23

look like

31:28

to like sug yourself grace look like to

31:28

you?

31:37

One the most this may be one of the most

31:37

important questions to think about

31:41

as I continue on or throughout this

31:41

podcast or this episode.

31:46

Would you talk to someone you love the way

31:46

you talk to yourself?

31:55

'Cause there's times for me I would say

31:55

no.

32:00

Well, I feel like I'm overall doing

32:00

better.

32:07

And talking to myself in a more respectful

32:07

way.

32:13

I still have my moments. And I actually ~

32:13

am trying this thing.

32:18

So for you that have been following me,

32:22

I created the faith framework.

32:27

You know, it's it's a a easy framework to

32:27

remember and I believe

32:33

it helps people understand where they've

32:33

been,

32:38

reconnect with who they are.

32:43

And rebuild faith in themselves.

32:48

It's just one small step at a time.

33:00

And I I'm sure I did have an underlying ~

33:00

place I was going with that,

33:04

but I'll just move on 'cause I can't

33:04

remember.

33:10

Next we have the small things are usually

33:10

the big things.

33:19

Throughout all the stories of recovery and

33:19

mental health and overcoming this

33:26

and that, there's most of the time there's

33:26

not some huge breakthrough moment.

33:35

It's usually just small ordinary things.

33:38

I remember there's been multiple guests

33:38

that ~ have talked about just getting

33:44

out of bed and how much that helped them

33:44

realize that they were worth it.

33:49

So that has been taking a walk.

33:55

~ getting enough sleep.

34:00

Journaling. This was what I was gonna talk

34:00

about.

34:05

~ just a couple minutes ago I brought up

34:05

the faith framework.

34:10

I am working on some stuff

34:16

and I've been journaling for the last two

34:16

or three weeks,

34:19

but I've been using my faith framework to

34:19

do so because I want to test it out.

34:26

But somewhere down the road I want to

34:26

release this.

34:32

And I will say it has a little bit of

34:32

something to do with AI.

34:37

Because while AI specific ways scares the

34:37

crap out of me,

34:42

I also feel like it's a good tool if you

34:42

learn how to use it correctly.

34:48

and journaling, starting to journal has

34:48

helped me immensely.

34:52

I can see a huge difference every day that

34:52

I write down my thoughts and

34:56

I'm able to get out that frustration.

34:58

But the way I'm doing it with the faith

34:58

framework is very simple.

35:04

It's like five questions a day.

35:06

All based so, you know,

35:09

foundation, what motivates you today?

35:12

Attitude. What attitude are you choosing

35:20

today to help you push forward.

35:24

integrity, what promise do you want to

35:24

keep to yourself?

35:28

Or what promise yeah,

35:32

what promise do you need to keep to

35:32

yourself to ~ help you throughout this

35:44

Trust.

35:47

That the question that's been coming up

35:47

with trust is

35:55

What what do you need to trust yourself

35:55

with?

35:57

Or what what instinct do you need to

35:57

trust?

36:00

Something along those lines.

36:03

~ today to help you push through.

36:10

Or maybe it's who do you need to trust.

36:12

Then age is humility,

36:16

and that one is has been along the lines

36:16

of what do you need to let go

36:21

of or accept to help you grow.

36:25

Back on track here.

36:29

Small things are usually the big things.

36:34

we're talking about how things aren't

36:34

there's usually no giant breakthrough.

36:38

It's just the small things that help you

36:38

get through these and help you carry on.

36:45

~ to me a lot of times this

36:50

is like starting a repeated starting a

36:50

habit,

36:55

getting into the habit of doing something.

37:00

It could be, you know, keeping a routine

37:00

or getting up in the morning to exercise.

37:03

Just a small little step or a small little

37:03

thing that motivates

37:08

you to move on to the next day.

37:15

'Cause the s the small is the smallest

37:15

things that make you rebuild trust

37:18

in yourself.

37:23

And this leads into bigger things.

37:32

So but we another thing this brings up

37:32

though too is we often celebrate only

37:37

the big stuff. But I also believe that we

37:37

need to celebrate our small wins

37:41

and these could be those small wins.

37:47

So a couple of small things that have ~

37:47

made a huge difference in my life.

37:54

is I just talked about journaling.

37:56

~ going outside more.

37:59

It's been a big one for me.

38:07

learning techniques to help me get through

38:07

the day.

38:09

a little bit of breath work here and

38:09

there.

38:12

54321 method.

38:17

And I think that some of these little

38:17

things seem really insignificant

38:21

at first until you get a handle on and

38:21

then you'll be able to see the

38:30

So question to think about.

38:36

What is one small thing you could actually

38:36

repeat tomorrow?

38:43

Something that will help you become more

38:43

motivated.

38:57

The next one also I'm gonna say this

38:57

probably about all the rest of them.

39:02

Also another huge one.

39:09

This is once again one that I've never

39:09

really just never thought about.

39:17

Mental health is not one size fits all.

39:21

This is just one that has been reinforced

39:21

over all of my podcast episodes.

39:26

Two people can have anxiety but need

39:26

completely different things.

39:32

I was I came from the the side of things

39:32

like,

39:36

well, well maybe if I if I take

39:36

medication,

39:39

it must be the only thing that works.

39:40

No, I can tell you that I've had people

39:40

come on and say

39:45

Medication was great for me and other

39:45

people come on and say,

39:48

No, medication, I don't want to do it.

39:55

And there's there's often times where

39:55

people have the same diagnosis,

40:00

but just the experience is totally

40:00

different.

40:03

But because of that diagnosis,

40:05

that's where the their story intersects.

40:08

And they find that common ground.

40:11

Now, oftentimes the diagnosis for a mental

40:11

health issue can take time,

40:17

and there's often times where

40:19

people are mis misdiagnosed. I don't

40:19

remember specifically what episode it was

40:25

but I remember speaking to a who

40:30

this has happened to Guyane ~ some lady

40:30

that was on that they were misdiagnosed

40:37

and they were putting on the the doctor

40:37

put them on the wrong prescription

40:41

and they went years

40:44

~ with all these bad side effects and

40:44

stuff that didn't work

40:51

and trying different medications because

40:51

that diagnosis was wrong.

40:59

Another thing that I ~ wanna bring up is

40:59

oftentimes the first treatment does

41:05

not work.

41:10

my buddy had to take multiple different

41:10

types of medication to help calm

41:17

his anxiety.

41:23

thing going on with this is therapy isn't

41:23

for everybody.

41:26

I I personally I like therapy.

41:29

I think it helps me talk through stuff

41:29

that I would oftentimes would

41:36

not bring up.

41:39

But then other people have used faith or

41:39

religion to get through stuff,

41:46

~ community, movement, like exercise and

41:46

stuff,

41:49

mindfulness, breath work. There's

41:49

different types of ~ therapy you can do,

41:56

like EMDR is one of them. It's eye

41:56

movement stuff,

41:59

~ lifestyle changes. There's so many

41:59

different things you could do to to

42:08

Help your mental health.

42:12

And just because one thing fails doesn't

42:12

mean that everything's gonna fail.

42:17

You sometimes it does take time.

42:19

It takes time to figure out what's going

42:19

to work for you.

42:21

And it can't be frustrating. But once you

42:21

find that one thing,

42:26

it really does make you feel better.

42:45

But it's

42:49

I'm still learning to be honest what works

42:49

for me and what doesn't.

42:52

I can say that I'm me personally,

42:57

I'm not a huge fan of medication.

42:58

But if you are, that's great. And I'm just

42:58

barely getting into journaling.

43:04

I've gotten a little bit into breath work,

43:06

but it's just trial and error.

43:13

So here's the question to think about.

43:15

Have you blamed yourself because someone

43:15

else's solution didn't work for you?

43:26

Go go and try a few different things.

43:28

I promise you'll find something.

43:34

So this one has come up multiple times as

43:34

well.

43:37

Your struggle is part of your story,

43:39

not your identity.

43:43

Getting a diagnosis explains something

43:43

about you,

43:47

but it does not define you. Just like

43:47

trauma is something that happened to you.

43:52

Addiction is part of your story.

43:55

And all these things can change you,

43:59

but they're they should not be your

43:59

identity.

44:11

And I I I think oftentimes this happened

44:11

to me.

44:14

My seizures b started back in two thousand

44:14

nine.

44:17

I I believe that they made me lose my

44:17

identity for the time for a time.

44:23

They made me lose a sense of who I was.

44:29

And I very much lost my independence.

44:38

And I I've often heard guests talk about

44:38

losing their identity

44:46

through s through their struggles,

44:48

such as careers, relationships,

44:50

etcetera.

44:54

And as you're going through

44:59

all your trials and challenges,

45:01

you d don't always get the old version of

45:01

yourself back.

45:05

Sometimes you a lot of guests have

45:05

reinvented who they were.

45:09

And not saying that they're deep down

45:09

they're not the same person.

45:14

They're just their life is different than

45:14

it was before.

45:22

I had multiple people who have come on and

45:22

they've been they were alcoholics.

45:28

And part of their identity loss was the

45:28

loss of friends.

45:32

So they had to go out and find new

45:32

friends.

45:40

And I think part of my problem throughout

45:40

the years is I've spent

45:44

so much time trying to be the old me that

45:44

I didn't look too much into

45:50

the me that I've been trying to become.

45:54

So it's almost made me stay stuck for

45:54

longer.

46:05

So it's really been making me think of who

46:05

might be coming now,

46:09

like who do I want to be?

46:13

And I I think hosting this podcast has

46:13

helped me figure that out

46:18

a little bit because I'm actually finding

46:18

that I do have a newfound passion in life.

46:24

I've always loved mental health.

46:26

I've always loved helping people.

46:27

But now I really have the desire to help

46:27

change people.

46:38

So the question I want to leave you with

46:38

this is

46:47

did I spend time trying to become the old

46:47

me again?

46:50

Have you experienced a time in your life

46:50

where

46:56

You've lost your identity and you've been

46:56

stuck trying to fight the old you.

47:11

the last lesson that I've learned,

47:13

sorry, this has been a lot of talking for

47:13

me.

47:19

This is my all-time favorite. They're all

47:19

my favorites.

47:23

Everyone has a story.

47:26

What you do with it matters.

47:33

This is probably the the coolest thing

47:33

that

47:40

podcasting has taught me.

47:45

If you sit down and really talk to people,

47:46

they all have a story. We're all

47:46

experiencing stuff.

47:49

We're all going through stuff.

47:53

There's been stories and I often will be

47:53

sitting there in the podcast of you know,

47:59

as I'm interviewing a guest thinking,

48:01

well, I can't imagine experiencing that.

48:04

And I compare myself to them, but don't ex

48:04

I wanna say this again,

48:10

be well I haven't said it in this episode,

48:13

but I brought it up. Don't ever compare

48:13

your story to somebody else's because

48:18

story is just as important as the last.

48:25

But a lot of these stories have,

48:27

you know, completely different from mine,

48:29

but they've made me recognize pieces of

48:29

myself.

48:32

I often say that each episode is like

48:37

a free therapy session because I'm

48:37

learning stuff from it.

48:48

And it's it's what you do with your story.

48:50

Like, are you helping others?

48:53

Did you get you know,

48:57

are you parenting differently?

48:58

Are you providing a service? Like what

48:58

what is the purpose that that story brings

49:04

into your life?

49:10

And I'm not saying that these stories what

49:10

what happened to you is a good thing.

49:18

And I'm not trying to romanticize

49:18

suffering because it's it's never fun,

49:23

but we all suffer.

49:28

And I'm using my story to try to reach out

49:28

to help people.

49:33

I I want to speak at events.

49:37

I want to keep carrying on this platform

49:37

for people to tell their stories.

49:47

I I love having this platform.

49:52

We don't need to this doesn't mean we have

49:52

to say that everything happens

49:55

for a reason.

49:58

You don't have to be grateful for the

49:58

thing that hurt you.

50:03

And it your pain isn't gonna be erased.

50:12

But after what you experienced w after

50:12

what you've experienced,

50:17

~

50:20

I think a a good question to ask is what

50:20

do I do now?

50:28

And like I said, this all this leads back

50:28

to why this podcast even exists.

50:34

I've mentioned the end of 2024 with the

50:34

cluster of seizures several times

50:40

this episode. And that that is why this

50:40

podcast exists.

50:45

Throughout that time I w had s was

50:45

suffering from suicidal ideation

50:52

and just in a really dark, crappy spot.

50:59

And when I was over able to push past it,

51:02

I thought to myself, I want a place where

51:02

people can tell their stories.

51:07

This is that

51:10

And I don't know if I would be having

51:10

these conversations if that struggle

51:16

or that challenge or trial didn't happen

51:16

to me,

51:18

because I don't think I would.

51:19

I don't think I would even dare to tell my

51:19

story publicly.

51:25

It's not always easy being being

51:25

vulnerable.

51:35

So, a question to think about for this one

51:35

What have you learned through your

51:40

experience that someone else might need?

51:47

You do not have to call the pain a gift t

51:47

to decide it won't be wasted.

51:58

So kind of a couple closing thoughts here.

52:06

I I don't think, you know, after a over a

52:06

year of podcasting,

52:10

I don't think mental health is about

52:10

finding one secret.

52:12

You know, people can be complicated.

52:15

Recovery is complicated. ~ there's times

52:15

where people look okay and they're not.

52:28

~ everybody has a story, you know.

52:30

Healing is hard, it's it's

52:34

Not line line linear, I can't say that

52:34

word at all.

52:37

We do need other people and our physical

52:37

health matters as well.

52:43

There's there's I I can say one thing that

52:43

this podcast

52:49

has helped me become more compassionate

52:49

towards other people.

52:53

Not that I wasn't there before because

52:53

I've always especially like I've always

52:59

people and I've always wanted to find a

52:59

way to help people.

53:02

It was my dream at one point to go into

53:07

psychology and become a therapist.

53:09

But then I actually learned how much

53:09

schooling it takes.

53:11

I was like, yeah, that's just not me.

53:13

I just want to be done with this.

53:14

But I really believe now that this is my

53:14

calling.

53:19

This is what I am very passionate about.

53:21

I want to help people. Even if it's just

53:21

that one person that

53:26

~ reaches out, one person per episode

53:26

reaches out and says

53:34

Not even reaches out, maybe they just feel

53:34

that it changed them.

53:38

That's all I want. So here,

53:41

let me repeat some of these again.

53:43

~ people are complicated,

53:48

recovery is complicated. Sometimes people

53:48

look okay when they're not.

53:53

Healing isn't linear. Some of the

53:53

behaviors we hate about ourselves have

54:01

We need other people. We need a community.

54:05

Our physical health matters. Grace and

54:05

accountability can coexist.

54:10

Small actions matter. What works for one

54:10

person might not work for another.

54:16

And we are so much bigger than our

54:16

diagnosis.

54:20

Our diagnosis does not define us.

54:30

But it's I think also the biggest thing

54:30

that has changed me is

54:38

I'm always very curious about people's

54:38

backgrounds.

54:41

And I I'm feel like I'm less judgmental

54:41

because you never know what someone else

54:47

is carrying. There's been times where I've

54:47

been sitting next to somebody

54:52

and learned a little bit of information on

54:52

them and like,

54:54

well, I didn't even know you were going

54:54

through that.

55:00

And I don't have everything figured out.

55:05

I'm still learning things, still going

55:05

through the motions,

55:07

still working on myself.

55:13

And I don't I often don't know what's

55:13

coming next.

55:19

But I believe I have the right tools in

55:19

place and I want you guys to be able

55:26

to get the right tools for yourself.

55:30

If we can continue to understand

55:30

ourselves,

55:32

continue to find out what helps,

55:34

continue getting back up.

55:43

What you want next for the next part of

55:43

your story to look like.

55:52

'Cause everyone has a story. And your

55:52

story matters.

55:55

What happened to you matters.

56:01

But it does not have to determine what

56:01

happens next.

56:07

You get to decide that that's part of your

56:07

story.

56:11

That is all that I have for tonight.

56:13

~ thanks to all that have listened.

56:16

I know this was a mouthful for me to get

56:16

through,

56:20

so I hope somebody was able to learn

56:20

something of it from it.

56:24

And please, if this resonated with you,

56:29

please follow us. It means the world.

56:32

And leave us a five-star review.

56:35

Until next time.